Keep On Talkin'

When Chad "Ocho Cinco" Johnson spoke last week, he prophesied that he would not only score a touchdown, but would also "kiss the star" in the center of the Cowboy's field in tribute to the Dallas organization. And while those words did not come to be true, there is another statement he uttered that I hope he dose follow through on.

Later in that same interview from in front of his locker, Chad warned ESPN sports talk personalities, anchors, and analysts to mind their words about him or he would be compelled to take their jobs. Yes, Chad is a fantastic and successful receiver, but that does not necessarily translate seamlessly into a successful TV career. That said, Chad is undoubtedly already better than some on-air personalities and given the choice ESPN executives should immediately move to replace some of their current employees with Mr. Ocho Cinco. The one name that comes to mind when thinking of who would he replace first would undoubtedly be Hannah Storm.

To those that regularly watch and pay attention to the new morning SportsCenter, both during the week and on the weekends, have been exposed to Hannah Storm for a little over 2 months now. And while she has had a few moments where she has done well, for the most part she has been a complete and total disaster. She constantly misquotes statistics and her on camera presence is deplorable. Every one of her interviews has some awkward moment where she doesn't follow the flow a more skilled journalist would. Her questions are canned; she doesn't write her own material, but rather has a team of people to prepare her for every moment she will be on camera. Because of this, she will miss any opportunity for a follow-up question because it had not been scripted for her. And when those few times come up that she does go off script she sounds like a fumbling teenager who knows nothing about sports and just likes to hear herself talk.


ESPN prides itself on being the worldwide leader in sports, and through all of there overwhelming successes there have been a few blunders. Hannah Storm was a "big" name the network felt they needed to add in order to hype their new live morning format. Although the experiment has not lasted that long, from a fan's perspective it has been a failure.

ESPN went out and hired Hannah Storm to create a buzz about the transition to the live morning show, which to be quite honest could have been done without her. And since she has been on the network, her performance can best be described as "poor". There is do doubt that ESPN could have saved a ton of money on what can only be assumed they are now paying her in the form of a ridiculous salary. There are a number of current personalities they could have used that would have been WAY better than her (my personal favorite is Sage Steele; she does the 9 AM SportsCenter on Friday mornings and does a fantastic job, much better than Mrs. Storm could ever do and on top of that is much better looking). The problem in front of the Bristol executives right now is that they have already dedicated time, money, and media attention to bringing Hannah Storm in, and the only way to avoid any negative attention that replacing her would bring would be to bring in someone with a bigger name.

Solution: Bring in 85.

The media attention that Johnson would receive would trump any controversy of Hannah Storm being replaced. ESPN would then be free to wean her out slowly but surely as they try to forget she was ever hired in the first place. In fact, Chad's presence would do wonders for growth of ESPN's morning audience. Despite what anyone will say about Chad, he always commands the utmost attention; he has something to say about everything and him replacing Hannah Storm would be the best move ESPN could have ever made.

But alas, much would have to happen before such a move could be made. Chad would have to be so incensed about the media's coverage and comments about him to compel him to retire and pursue a career in broadcasting. Also, the ESPN suits would have to admit they made a mistake bringing in a journalist far inferior to what the network currently has employed. And finally, ESPN would have to swallow their own pride and agree to buy out Hannah Storm's contract and let her be on her way (an apology to the SportsCenter fans would be nice as well, but most people would settle for just getting rid of Mrs. Storm). Until then, the only thing that can be done is to encourage Chad to keep on talking and possibly persuade him to try and take on another career with all the air-time he could possibly imagine.